// PRIVACY POLICY

1. WHAT WE COLLECT

The short answer: Less than your smart toaster, more than your therapist would like.

We collect the bare minimum required to keep the lights on and the servers humming. This includes:

• Your email address (if you willingly give it to us)
• Cookies (the digital kind; this is not a bakery yet)
• IP addresses (just numbers, not your life story)
• Zero knowledge of your browsing habits outside this site—we are not interested

Unlike the surveillance capitalists, we don't have a business model that requires knowing what you had for breakfast.

2. WHAT WE ARE AGAINST

Your data sits on our server doing absolutely nothing exciting. We are against:

• Selling it to advertisers (we're not surveillance capitalists)
• Training AI models on it (that would require having AI models)
• Sharing it with "trusted partners" (we don't trust anyone)
• Using it for "personalized experiences" (translation: manipulation)

We use your email to send you things you explicitly asked for. That's it. Revolutionary, right?

3. COOKIES & TRACKING

Yes, we use cookies. No, not for nefarious purposes. They help us remember if you're logged in so you don't have to authenticate every 30 seconds like it's 1998.

We don't have tracking pixels, analytics dashboards, or heat maps showing where you click. We're philosophically opposed to treating humans like lab rats in a maze.

If you want to block all cookies anyway, go ahead. We respect your paranoia—it's probably justified.

4. THIRD PARTIES

The only third parties involved are:

• Our hosting provider (who sees your IP because, well, networking)
• The open-source libraries we use (they don't track you either)

We don't embed Facebook trackers, Google Analytics, or any of those panopticon services. If Mark Zuckerberg wants to know you visited this site, he'll have to ask you directly.

5. YOUR RIGHTS

You have the right to:

• Request your data - All two rows in our database
• Delete your data - Just ask, we'll nuke it
• Correct your data - If we somehow got your email wrong
• Export your data - It's yours, after all
• Object to processing - Though there's barely any processing happening

Email us at [email protected] and we'll handle it like humans, not a corporate helpdesk ticket system.

6. DATA BREACHES

In the unlikely event of a data breach, we will:

• Actually tell you (novel concept, we know)
• Explain what happened in plain English
• Not hire a PR firm to spin it as a "learning opportunity"

Though honestly, if someone hacks us, they'll be disappointed. Your email and a timestamp are not exactly crown jewels.

7. CHILDREN'S PRIVACY

This site isn't designed for children under 13. Not because of legal requirements, but because the content would probably bore them. If you're under 13 and reading this, go build a treehouse or something. The internet will still be broken when you're older.

8. CHANGES TO THIS POLICY

If we change this policy, we'll update the date at the top. We won't sneak in clauses at 2 AM hoping you won't notice.

No "by continuing to use this service you agree to..." nonsense. We'll tell you what changed and why.